In the build-up to the first major re-shuffle of his tenure as Prime Minister, David Cameron had remained predictably tight lipped about the changes that were to be made. But the British public was left baffled today with the unusual address delivered by a confused Cameron. Stepping outside of his Downing St home, he announced that he’d been making wholesale changes to his cabinet with a number of unexpected alterations of positions, however, reporters were left perplexed when Cameron went on to list the major changes and his reasoning behind them. Expecting to hear which ministers would be moving between which roles, there were murmurs of confusion when Cameron began describing in detail the reorganisation he’d been doing to the items in his bathroom cupboard.
After listing a number of items that he’d thrown away, he discussed the rationale behind moving his deodorant to the front right corner of the cupboard and for relegating the talcum powder and bath soaps to the back. And, while his reasoning was sound, namely that he uses the deodorant far more frequently, so it didn’t make sense to have to pick past the rarely-used bath soaps every morning, it wasn’t what the waiting reporters had come to hear. However, the muddled minister, seemed to falter after a few minutes, seemingly picking up on the baffled expressions on the faces of the journalists in front of him. Having begun describing where he’d moved the shower gel to, the PM tailed off his address and was scooped up by an aide and taken back into number 10.
An official statement for the PM has said that a stress, induced by a hectic schedule, has contributed to an isolated case of confusion. However, it’s widely rumoured that the PM has become so obsessed with the Olympics this summer that, in the weeks since the games finished, he’s been spending every waking hour practising hurdles, long jump and high jump, in the hope that he can compete in the heptathlon in 2016. Having neglected the duties of Office, the PM was somewhat blindsided by the news that he was to communicate the Cabinet changes that were to be made and, although surprised that the world was interested in the contents of his cupboards, Cameron allegedly put it down to a quirk of modern politics and relayed his modifications to the waiting press.
It’s believed that the PM is now frantically making snap decisions on who can do what job for the next year or so and will be communicating this to the media in the coming days. There is no news on the progress he’s made on his heptathlon PBs.